Saturday, April 20, 2013
Naked Ladies Rule
Today was no exception - mother/daughter duo, check. Green tee-shirt on my spot. What? How dare they dry their clothing on my spot. I asked if it belonged to either one of them. They told me it was there when they came in. I moved the shirt and positioned myself on my spot.
Ho-hum. Same ol.
That is until the door opened and the owner of the green tee-shirt walked it. I peeped up at her and could tell she was a tad bit miffed that I had moved her tee-shirt.
I am like, OKAY PEOPLE, THE SIGN SAYS DO NOT DRY CLOTHES IN THE SAUNA.
The mother/daughter duo left and I noticed tee-shirt lady was on the other side with her top off. She was just sitting there. I assumed she was also going to change her clothes and leave.
Suddenly, a grunting sound echoed throughout the sauna. Changing clothes can be labor intensive.
Don't laugh. I know people who do this.
The grunting continued.
Maybe tee-shirt lady has some sort of terrible medical issue.
I heard water dripping. Well, I hoped it was just water.
About 10 minutes later, I peeped again.
Tee-Shirt lady wasn't changing clothes at all. She was still topless.
SHE WAS EATING!
Tee-shirt lady was eating IN THE SAUNA. Did you hear me? EATING in the SAUNA. I am pretty sure it was mac & cheese. I mean, isn't mac & cheese one of the best worst foods in the world? If you are going to eat mac & cheese at the gym you absolutely must hide out while you do it.
When tee-shirt lady finished eating, the grunting sound stopped.
Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh, quiet peace at last.
But not for long.
Panting. Lots of panting. I remained on my spot.
After about 5 minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to peep once more.
To my surprise tee-shirt lady was lying down, both legs up in the air and she was doing crunches. Still topless and I think at this point, bottomless. Not absolute sure because I only did a very small peep.
One short minute later, I couldn't take the antics, noises or sounds of tee-shirt lady any more.
I was "over it." I was ready to call it a day.
As I was getting up from my spot, I did one last peep.
I am pretty sure she had on a facial mask. When did she have time to put that on?
I have a feeling she is still there.
Jumping jacks anyone?
Speaking of naked ladies....
This past weekend we grabbed a quickie lunch at McDonalds. Once I ordered, I went to the ladies room to wash my hands while the hubster paid. I walked into a small bathroom. A soon as I opened the door, the sink & mirror was to the left and also the two stalls.
To my surprise there was an "almost naked" lady standing at the sink. Her sweater was lying beside the sink, her jeans were down around her ankles. She was sporting a turquoise thong and lime green bra.
Yes, she was virtually naked.
How does one react when one comes upon this scene in a random McDonalds ladies room?
I walked past her and into a stall. The reason I went in there was to wash my hands but decided hide out in a stall to assess the situation.
Once I decided that nothing was going to stop me from washing my hands I burst out of the stall.
To my surprise "half naked lady" was still standing in the mirror, posing and photographing herself with her jeans down around her ankles. It was as if she didn't know I was there.
Like, "H-E-L-L-O, I am in the room."
I stood there quietly waiting for her to move away from the sink. She did. Then she spoke. She said she was taking photos for her boyfriend and she laughed. Having never encountered a situation as this, I was at a loss for words.
Uncommon for me as my words freely flow - the good, the bad and the ugly.
Finally my inner photographer kicked in and I asked, "Is the lighting good in here?" She smiled and said, "No" as I finished washing my hands.
Once I moved away from the sink she went back to the mirror and continued as if I was never there. As I dried my hands with the blow dryers directly behind her, I wondered if my back side would be in her photos. Eeeeeewwwwwww.
Later, when I was about 15 minutes into my salad "half naked lady" walked out of the bathroom fully clothed, out the door, into her "rough looking" black ford explorer and drove away.
I guess we will never know the end to this story.
We can only imagine.
But maybe not. It may be best if we never know.
Let's just call it a day.
Smile at someone for no reason.
I bet they will smile back.
You may even "make their day."
It may be the only smile they get.
I'm smiling at you right now.....